


drowning, suffocating, heartbeats

by orphan_account



Category: Original Work
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-28
Updated: 2019-11-28
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:34:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21590041
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: i can feel my heartbeat in my stomach when i lay on the floor and i don’t like it at allwhich has absolutely nothing to do with this writingwhich is depressing and you, reader, should not read any further if you have any sense of logic





	drowning, suffocating, heartbeats

_ i am getting better i am getting better i am getting better  _

~~ or at least that’s what i keep telling myself  ~~

but everything hurts and i don’t feel better right now

i need to stop writing about myself that’s so fucking self centered

but i think if i write about anyone else right now it’ll just be heartbroken and covered in memories that i don’t want to be thinking of

my vision is blurring and my nails are digging into the carpet in a desperate attempt to make it something other than my skin

but nothing feels like enough and i am scared of myself right now

i need all of my jewelry off because most of the time it’s good to mess with but right now my necklace feels like it’s strangling me and if i leave these rings on i’m scared that i will drag them across my skin until it turns red

not even a book can distract me right now

i’m rocking back and forth and praying nobody finds me right now

~~ i’m hiding in a literal closet how fucking ironic ~~

i’ve said drowning in memories before but i can’t think of what else to say right now

i just need it to stop

i don’t want to be thinking about [redacted; pl] because i know [redacted; pl] don’t think about me ever

it feels like i’m being suffocated by memories and i need them to stop i can’t fucking breathe

i don’t fucking matter to most of the people that matter to me and i need to stop hoping that i do

is she dead she can’t be dead that doesn’t make any sense but i can’t stop thinking of  _ shootingcarcrashmementomorideath _

why do i worry about people who don’t care about me

please just make it stop

i just need to stop thinking 


End file.
